redemptive colors

so i just came back from a rather random type of gathering of random types of friends at a local thai place i'd never been to before. do you know how it feels when you are kinda not SUPER enthused about going somewhere and then it ends up being almost the best time ever? that's exactly how it was. really great food, a delish raspberry mint mojito and some amazing conversation later, i can't really recall the last time i had that much fun. it was just a really incredible way to begin a weekend, and i'm thankful for it. yup yup, i am indeed.

after driving home i walked into my house, still in my "causual friday" workclothes (which frankly, are not all that casual), and the stray-turned-pet kitty was one step ahead and beat me inside. i don't know how she does it, but almost everytime one of us comes back to the house she's waiting at the doorstep, little black nose pressed against the wall, waiting anxiously to be let back into warmth and shelter. we both walked in, and immediately she began begging for my attention. i'm not even really a cat person, but that little purr-y breathing and the silky soft head butting against my face is just the sweetest thing and instantly melts away any and every anti-cat feeling i've had these past 25 years.

all of this doesn't really have to do with anything except for right at this moment, i am so happy. this is such a struggle-filled time of life for me- gains and losses; trust misplaced and trust regained; my footing is sure and at the same time very much in transition. there's so much left to be decided, and so many decisions i have recently made. but for now, my tummy is full of good food, against my shoulder is a little black furry thing that mews, and i see potential in situations around me.

i am a woman of associations... songs, colors, feelings- you name it. if it somehow is attached to something concrete, odds are good i can remember a taste or a feeling or a person who reminds me of that thing. maybe that's why i've had this dension whitmer song on repeat in my car:

how you found me out
i still never understand
thoughts you can't take with you when you go
you were waving flags that bear the colors of your love
i didn't know

orange for the vineyards
blue is for the rivers
green goes like a hillside covered now
white is not surrender
despite what you've been told
it's clouds of hope

that fall on you now
save you now

maybe right now at this stage of the game, there are circumstances that may seem like one thing, but in reality... are clouds of hope.

that fall on me now.

i love that thought.